Confrontation

1 Brothers, if If someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Messiah. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5 for each one should carry his own load.

17 I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18 For such people are not serving our Messiah Yeshua, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.

10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.

12 “What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying? 13 “And if it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray. 14 “Thus it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish.

15 “And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three eye-witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 “And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer.

18 “Truly I say to you, whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 “Again I say to you, that if two of you (eyewitnesses) agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. 20 “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, there I am in their midst.”

If there’s one thing all of us are forced to deal with on a regular basis it would be confrontation. Often we either we feel the need to confront another person who has sinned or done something wrong. But not only are we frequently uncomfortable with confrontation, we also are unaware of how the Bible speaks to this issue. We might even wonder if confrontation is even needed between Believers.

From a biblical point of view, it is precisely because we love someone that we seek that person’s good. In fact, our love for him or her makes us unwilling to tolerate evil or wrongdoing in the person because we know that it can only bring harm. The Torah and Besorah (Gospels) clearly teaches that accusations must come from actual eyewitnesses of the sin and not hearsay or gossip. Confrontation must be done by the offended and not by a friend of the offended who heard the information second hand. Confronting someone who has a sin must be private and one should not seek out witnesses via gossip.

Before we judge should we not judge ourselves?

So, how do we confront another Believer biblically?

When is it appropriate to involve the Congregation leadership?
What are the issues that deserve the Congregation’s involvement?

BE CAREFUL OF HYPOCRISY and TORAH LEGALISM

Matthew 7:1 ”Do not judge lest you be judged. 2 “For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3 “And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 “Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5 “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:1

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. 24 “You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!
25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence. 26 “You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also.
27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. 28 “So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

FIRST STEPS IN CONFRONTING SIN
A key passage in the Bible for dealing with a fellow Believer who has sinned against you is found in Yeshua’s teachings as recorded in Mt 18:15-18. The steps Yeshua lays out are each self-contained yet build upon one another. The purpose of this procedure is to eliminate the possibility of gossip on behalf of the offended. Gossip is also a sin. The ideal situation is that the offense is resolved after step one. However, if that doesn’t happen, there is a step two, and so on. The steps are:
(1) a private, in person one-on-one reproof by mouth;
(2) a small, private meeting, which involves a one or two eye witnesses;
(3) an announcement to the Congregation leadership;
(4) If the leadership deems necessary a public removal from Congregation fellowship;

IF REPENTANCE OCCURS
As stated above, the hope is that sincere repentance would occur after any of the 4 steps, and if it does, it is the responsibility of the confronting party to restore the person. 2 Cor 2:5-11 tells us that our restorative response should involve:
(1) forgiving;
(2) comforting;
(3) loving.

OUR ATTITUDE IN RESTORING
Gal 6:1 gives guidelines to us when restoring a person who has repented from sin:
(1) We must be sure that we are healthy and strong in character ourselves, and not hypocritical;
(2) We must be gentle and meek in the way in which we handle their correction and restoration;
(3) We must be reflective and careful that in the process of sifting through another’s sinful choices and bad decision we are tempted and enticed ourselves.

Confrontation and Restoration

Galatians 6