presents
A Messianic Jewish Wedding Guide
Ketubah Signing-
The Ketubah is signed in a private ceremony with the Bride, Groom, family and the wedding party.
This can actually happen at the rehearsal the evening before.
Click here for a Sample Wedding Program you can print this and use this as a guide.
As long as the bride (Kallah) and groom (Chatan) are standing under the Chuppah (canopy), the marriage ceremony can take place almost anywhere -- in a synagogue, the bride or groom’s home, in a public venue such as a hotel or even on a beach.
You can marry at any time of the day, though it is most usual to marry in the afternoon or evening. Most people choose to marry on a Sunday or a Tuesday -- a particularly significant day, as this was when God blessed His creation doubly.
It is generally forbidden to get married in the 49 days between the moveable feasts of Passover and Pentecost, and during three weeks between July and August. It is also forbidden to marry on the Sabbath or on festival days. If you want to get married on a Saturday, the ceremony is not allowed to begin until after sundown.
Bedekkin - Veiling
The pre-ceremony ritual is the veiling of the Kallah (Bride). The Chatan (Groom) lowers the veil over the Kallah's face. This custom recalls Rebecca and Issac's first meeting when Rebecca modestly concealed her face in a veil. It also recalls the biblical story of Rachel and Jacob. Rachels father Laben substituted his elder daughter Leah, for Rachel. The Chatan lowers the veil over the Kallah to be sure not to make the same mistake Jacob did and by "dressing" his Kallah with a veil, the Chatan is assured that she is the one he has chosen, and thereby sets her apart from all others.
Suggested Prelude Wedding Music
Erev Shel Shoshanim
Adonai Sfatai Traditional
Ma’oz Tzur (Traditional Hanukkah Song) If wedding is in December.
Jerusalem of Gold
Y’did Nefesh Ani Le Dodi
Sunrise Sunset
Seating of the Grandmothers
Brides side is on the right.
The Wedding Ceremony
KIDDUSHIN - THE WEDDING CEREMONY
The Jewish wedding is called kiddushin, meaning sanctification related to the word kadosh (holy). The kiddushin is composed of two distinct ceremonies: the erusin and nisuin or nuptials.
Erusin - The Betrothal
The Betrothal ceremony has been combined in modern times with the second service nisuin. It is during the erusin ceremony that the kallah (bride) and chatan (groom) are formally and publicly betrothed to one another. A blessing over a cup of wine is said, followed by a second blessing that reminds us of the holiness of unity as well as the integrity of the bonds of marriage. Both the kallah and chatan drink from the same cup of wine, accepting life's joys, as well as responsibilities.
Blowing of the Shofar
Baruchim Haba'im Bashem Adonai
Blessed are they who come in the name of the Lord.
Processional of the Groom, the Chatan
Groom is escorted by both his father and mother
Music:
Baruch Ha Ba Traditional
Hodu L'Adonai Ki Tov, Ki Le Olam Chas Do
Give thanks to the Lord for He is Good,
His lovingkindness endures forever!
Processional of the Maid of Honor
Processional of the Bride
Jewish weddings do not use the Christian Traditional piece "Here Comes The Bride" or "The Wedding March" because it was composed by Richard Wagner.
Bride is escorted by her father and mother
*Please remain seated. It is not customary within a Jewish wedding to stand when the bride enters.
Suggested Music: Dodi Li
Enter Bride and Parents (Optional)
Who gives this woman to be married?
Father Responds: "Her mother and I"
Suggested Music: Sunrise Sunset
Bride encircles groom seven times.
Encircling of the Groom
The Bride circles her beloved seven times, taken from Jeremiah 31:22b, "a woman shall compass (revolve around, surround) a man." Seven times is significant because of its scriptural reference of perfection and completion; the reference in Hosea 2:19-21 of God’s seven-fold betrothal to His people, Israel; the reference in Revelation 4:5 to the seven Spirits of God; and as a reflection of the Bride’s desire to be as the seven prophetesses of Israel: Sarah, Miriam, Deborah, Hannah, Abigail, Hilda, and Esther.
The position of the bride on the right side of the groom is based on an interpretation of Psalm 45:10 "the queen stands on your right hand in fine gold of ophir". In Jewish tradition the bride is a queen, and the groom a king.
Bride and Groom Enter the Chuppah - The Wedding Canopy
The bridal canopy is a multifaceted symbol: it is a home, and a reminder of the tent of our Patriarchs.
It is open on all sides to recall the tent of Abraham and Sara, who had doors on all sides of his dwelling to welcome guests.
Entrance under the Chuppah (Wedding Canopy)
This is symbolic of the marriage coming under the Holy covering of God.
The covering represents protection, mercy, and grace.
Ma Tovu Numbers 24:5
How beautiful are your tents, O Jacob,
Your dwelling places, O Israel!
Blessing of the Bride and Groom - Mi Adir
Mi Adir al hakol. Mi baruch al hakol. Mi gadol al hakol.
Hu y'vareykh et he'khatan v'et ha'kalah
He who is supremely mighty,
He who is supremely blessed
He who is supremely sublime
May He bless the Groom and the Bride.
Groom lifts the veil to take a peek. This is to verify that she is his wife and not another, avoiding the mistake that Jacob made with Leah.
If the wedding is on Saturday Night you can incorporate Havdallah into the ceremony.
The Drashah -
The sermon or charge should be a personal message to the bride and groom by the Rabbi with challenges and commitments to the Holy One.
Exchanging of the Vows
(Groom)______________, will you have (Bride)__________ to be your wife?
Will you love her, honor her, comfort and keep her, and forsaking all others remain true to her as long as you both shall live?
"I will."
(Bride)___________, will you have (Groom)___________ to be your husband?
Will you love him, honor him, comfort and keep him, and forsaking all others remain true to him as long as you both shall live?
"I will."
(Turn and face each other)
(Groom)___________, please repeat after me.
I, (Groom)___________
take thee (Bride)___________,
To be my wedded wife,
And I do promise and covenant,
Before God and these witnesses,
To be thy loving and faithful husband,
In plenty and in want,
In joy and in sorrow,
In sickness and in health,
As long as you both shall live.
(Bride)___________, please repeat after me.
I, (Bride)___________
take thee (Groom)___________,
To be my wedded husband,
And I do promise and covenant,
Before God and these witnesses,
To be thy loving and faithful husband,
In plenty and in want,
In joy and in sorrow,
In sickness and in health,
As long as you both shall live.
Ring Ceremony
Do we have a ring for the Bride?
(Groom)________________, repeat after me:
Harey at
mekuddeshet li
B'taba'at Zo
K'dat Moshe,
K'dat Moshiach
v'Yisrael
Behold thou art consecrated unto me
With this ring
According to the Law of Moses,
Law of Messiah
and of Israel.
Do we have a ring for the Groom?
(Bride)___________, repeat after me:
Harey ata
mekuddesh il
B'taba'at Zo
K'dat Moshe
K'dat Moshiach
v'Yisrael
Behold thou art consecrated unto me
With this ring
According to the Law of Moses
Law of Messiah,
and of Israel.
Gadlu La Shem Psalm 34:3
O’ Magnify the LORD with me,
And let us exalt his name together.
Music: Gadlu La Shem
Kiddush- The Blessing of the cup
Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheynu Melech HaOlam
Borey Pree Hagafen.
Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe who creates the fruit of the vine, the symbol of joy. Blessed are thou, O Lord, who has hallowed thy people Israel by the blessing of the marriage canopy, the Chuppah and the sacred covenant of marriage.
Reading of the Ketubah (Marriage Contract)
The Ketubah - Certificate of Marriage
This is to certify that on the 22nd day of the month of Kislev
in the year 5758, corresponding to the 20th day of December, 1997,
the holy Covenant of Marriage was entered into between the
Bridegroom, _____________, and his Bride, _________________.
The groom made the following declarations to the bride;
"Be my wife according to the law of Moses and Israel and the Messiah Yeshua. I will, love, honor, and cherish you as Messiah loved the holy congregation. I will provide for you as is proper for a husband to do according to the teachings of the word of God."
The Bride has accepted his words and dedicated herself to him, saying;
"I will respect, honor, and cherish you in the same manner as the holy congregation is to love the Messiah."
Nisuin - The Nuptials
The second part of the ceremony after the erusin is the nisuin.
This ceremony forms the second half of the wedding service. Even though the chatan and kallah are legally bound to each other as husband and wife at the completion of the eursin, the wedding ceremony is not yet complete. During this part of the ceremony, God's presence is acknowledged in the new relationship. This acknowledgement is made by chanting seven blessings called the sheva b'rachot. Like the erusin ceremony, the sheva b'rachot are chanted over a cup of wine. After the blessing for wine, the remaining six blessings acknowledge God as the creator of the world, the creator of love and as the One who brings redemption to the world.
The Seven Wedding Blessings
1.
Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who
created everything for his glory.
2.
Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, the
creator of man.
3.
Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created man in His image, in the pattern of His own likeness,
and provided for the perpetuation of his kind.
Blessed are You, Lord, the creator of man.
4.
Let the
barren city be jubilantly happy and joyful at her joyous
reunion with her children. Blessed are You, Lord, who
makes Zion rejoice with her children.
5.
Let the
loving couple be very happy, just as You made Your creation
happy in the garden of Eden, so long ago. Blessed are You, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride happy.
6.
Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who
created joy and celebration, bridegroom and bride,
rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and
brotherhood, peace and friendship. May there soon be
heard, Lord our G-d, in the cities of Judea and in the
streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of
celebration, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of a
bride, the happy shouting of bridegrooms from their weddings
and of young men from their feasts of song. Blessed are You, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride
rejoice together.
7.
Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, creator
of the fruit of the vine.
If the wedding is on a Saturday Evening Havdalah can be incorporated into the wedding instead of this cup.
Kiddush- The Blessing of the cup a second time
Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheynu Melech HaOlam
Borey Pree Hagafen.
Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe who creates the fruit of the vine, the symbol of joy. Blessed are thou, O Lord, who has hallowed thy people Israel by the blessing of the marriage canopy, the Chuppah and the sacred covenant of marriage.
Groom Drinks then the Bride Drinks wine from the cup.
Confirmation of Covenant
. After a man
proposed marriage to a woman, in ancient Jewish culture, he poured a cup of wine and drank
from it. If she took it and drank also that signified her acceptance and she became his
betrothed.
The Pronouncement -
Ladies and Gentlemen, as witness to the covenant of marriage according to the Law of Moses and the Law of the Messiah of Israel, I would like to pronounce to you Mr. and Mrs. (Groom)____________________ , husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Tallit Covering and Blessing -
the Birchat HaKohanim - Numbers 6:24-26
The Lord bless you, and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift us His countenance on you, And give you peace.
The Breaking of the Glass -
A Traditional end to a Jewish wedding serves as a reminder of the fragility of life, even during the most joyous of celebrations. Life is fragile. We break this glass as a symbol of our past. In the theater that say go break a leg. In a Jewish wedding we break a glass. Forgiveness is an end to a shattered past. As the Groom smashes the glass everyone will shout Mazel Tov! Which means Good Fortune, may your lives here on out not be shattered, but full of fortune and joy.
Everyone responds with Mazel Tov
Recessional -
Music: Simon Tov, Mazel Tov or
The Wedding March Recessional by Mendleson (a Jewish Believer)
Bride and Groom
Best Man and Maid of Honor
Groomsmen and Bridesmaids
Groomsmen escorts the Bride's Mother (Father follows behind)
Groomsmen escorts the Groom's Mother (Father follows behind)
Groomsmen escorts the Grandmothers
Cheder Yichud - Private Room
A brief period of seclusion for the bride and groom to absorb the events of the ceremony where they spend their first moments alone together as husband and wife. Yichud has been described as a period of bonding, a time of privacy and peace before the public celebration begins. It is nice to have the room and food prepared for them as a special surprise to their private moment.
They will also break their fast before returning to the community to celebrate. The bride and groom will need about 20-30 minutes to enjoy the moment.
Grand Entrance-
Welcome the Bride and Groom with a great entrance. Perhaps music leading up to the opening of the door. Bubbles blown as they have a "reverse" reception line. Everyone is lined up on each side of the path as they enter. They can greet everyone as they make their way to the dance floor for their first dance.
Seudat Mitzvah - The Festive Meal
Perhaps one of the most distinctive and enjoyable aspects of the traditional Jewish wedding is the dancing and mitzvah
(commandment) to make the kallah and chatan happy. No Jewish wedding would be complete with out dancing the Hora or Lifting the bride and groom up in the chair. (This should be planned ahead of time, eight strong men should be selected to lift the chairs. They should even practice so they know how long and what to do.)
We will begin the meal with reciting the blessing
over the wedding challah, the traditional braided bread.
Baruch
ata Adonai, Eloheynu Melech Ha-Olam, hamotzi lechem min ha-aretz.
Blessed
are You Adonai, our God, ruler of the universe, who
brings forth bread from the earth.
The
voice of joy
the voice of gladness
the voice of the bridegroom,
the voice of the bride,
and the voice that praise God.
Mazel Tov from Rabbi Ken and Melissa
Contact Rabbi Ken for information and wedding consulting. halleluyah@aol.com